My husband Scott grew up in a small town in South Jersey.  He was the youngest of 2 children, and his parents are wonderful and down to earth people.  He was always a very kind and sensitive young boy, and he grew up and remained that kind and sensitive person.

When I met Scott, we were in college.  The first time that we talked on the phone, we talked for 4 hours. We talked about anything and everything. That’s what Scott was like…he made you feel like you had known him forever.  He made you feel like he was your best friend.  He was funny, witty and smart. (Although, he never realized his own potential.)  He was studying to become an Engineer and never went to class.  His grades were never stellar, but he still managed to graduate.

Scott received a job right out of college.  It was not his dream job, but he had found it interesting.  Right around the time that I got promoted, Scott received a job offer that he felt was made for him.  It was a sales job, which was right up his alley.  He was all set to resign from his current job when he was involved in the car accident and received his Traumatic Brain Injury.  It was heartbreaking to see my husband at his worst physically and mentally.  Also, it was so tragic to realize that not only would my husband not be able to pursue a career in Engineering, but also that he missed out on the chance to perform a job that he felt was perfect for him.

Scott, however, managed to see his accident as a blessing.  Although he struggled professionally, he really was somebody who was happy to be alive.  Scott became more religious and didn’t take life for granted.  He struggled with depression and impulsive behavior.  However, despite it all, he worked through it.  He decided that his tragedy, would transform how he approached the rest of his life.

Scott achieved a lot in his 34 years.  He was a wonderful son, brother, husband, and father.  After his first accident, he really did live each day to the fullest.  He spent so much time with our son, and they had such a special relationship.  Although he only got a short period of time with our daughter, he was such a loving dad.  He was always convinced that he wouldn’t be good with girls, that he could only handle boys. However, when our daughter came, you could visibly see his heart melt.  It’s things like this that I miss. Seeing him with our kids.  Having the kids wake us up in the morning, and just smiling at eachother. Scott looking at me and telling me how much he loved our life.

I still get angry about his death, about the fact that we had had our tragedy, so why was he taken from me? When this happens, I try and remember that in the 9 years that he lived beyond his car accident, he lived a fuller life than most people live all of their lives.  He appreciated life and loved the life he had.  It doesn’t make it easier, maybe just a little less painful.